Ouroborus Day
by Lord22
Summary: Orochimaru did not want to go to the Land of Snow, but with Sensei's successor soon to be declared he could not in good conscience refuse. So here he was, traveling north with his team to attend a coronation. The Snake Sannin was in a hurry to get the whole thing over with. Unfortunately, he finds himself reliving it over and over and over...
1. Journey to the Land of Snow

**Chapter One: Journey to the Land of Snow**

Anko was struggling with pronouncing some of the words in the book she was reading. Orochimaru glanced up with some pity at the little mouse, putting aside his pen and moving over to her.

"Ouro... Ouro..." began Anko.

"Ouroborus, Anko," said Orochimaru.

"Right, um, what exactly-" began Anko.

"The Ouroborus is a symbol, that of two snakes in figure eight, each devouring the other." said Orochimaru, "It's a symbol of life and death. Neither snake can devour the other. Even as on devours part of the tail, the other devours the same amount of it.

"Of course, it's all very silly."

"Silly?" asked Anko curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Life is such a fragile thing," said Orochimaru. "Far from being eternal. It takes only the smallest of changes to send it spiraling into extinction."

And then the door was thrown open as Guy stepped in, clad in a cold-weather jacket. "Sensei! I have gathered my youthful equipment!"

Youth. That obsession Guy had with the concept irritated Orochimaru, but it was one that he had picked up from him. Orochimaru sighed. "...Guy, what are you doing?"

"I am preparing myself for the journey ahead so that I will not freeze to death in the cold wastes of the Land of Snow!" said Guy.

Orochimaru sighed. "Guy, you are aware that it is thousands of miles to the Land of Snow, are you not?"

"Maybe so!" said Guy. "But with the power of youth, we shall cross it in an instant!"

"Excellent, prove how youthful you are. Sprint six hundred times around the entire village," said Orochimaru. He had given up on Guy by now. There was only so much brainpower he was willing to spend here.

"Yes, sensei!" said Guy, before sprinting off.

Orochimaru closed the door and sat back down at his desk, drawing out the books on science he'd found. His experiments had yielded much of this information obsolete, or simply plain wrong. But there as an occasional kernel of useful knowledge.

He just wished Sensei would let him take his experiments to the next level. What did it matter if prisoners on death row died on the operating table or on the gallows? It was the difference of a few minutes of agony. Hardly any time at all.

"There is something dreadfully wrong with that boy," said Orochimaru after a moment.

"Aren't you excited to be seeing the Land of Snow, Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Anko.

Orochimaru looked up and desired to strangle her. It was a passing thing, but it was there. "Far from it. I have dozens of different things I could be doing, which would have my time better spent. I only agreed to this nonsense because Sensei personally requested of me.

"If I refuse, the task will go to that imbecile, Minato."

Minato, who had been putting his name out as Hokage. As if he possessed any of the skills necessary to lead a nation.

"Why do you dislike Minato?" asked Anko.

Orochimaru considered the way things were heading. He was going to lose the election. Danzo had agreed to back him, so he had a chance. But still, Orochimaru desired to bring the Leaf Village into the future. To break through the barriers of life and death and create an immortal paradise.

Or something to that effect. He'd found keeping the details of his plans vague was better.

Even so, he could not shake the feeling he was going to lose. The Uchiha Clan despised Danzo and might back Minato out of spite if they couldn't put up one of their own. Besides, the Clans didn't want someone with vision; they wanted a puppet they could control. Minato, for all his skill, had never had an original idea in his pathetic waste of a life.

Powerful enough to ensure the Leaf's continued dominance. But too obedient to ever be a legitimate threat to the status quo. And to think, Jiraiya had promised to stay out of Orochimaru's way in his eventual bid for Hokage.

Then again, Jiraiya was gone now, as was Tsunade.

"That is a very complicated affair, Anko," said Orochimaru finally. "No need to concern yourself in politics this early in life."

Anko had lost interest by now and was looking at an old keepsake. Orochimaru remembered when Sensei and he had found it. And Anko was holding its case quite carelessly. "Hey, Orochimaru-sensei, what's this?"

"Oh, that," said Orochimaru. "That is a white snakeskin I found a long time ago with Sensei. I preserved it. White snakes are a symbol of renewal. Or so I'm told."

"But why do you keep it around?" asked Anko.

Yes, why did he keep it around? He hadn't thought about the snake in some time. "It's a reminder of human frailty. And my goal. One day, Anko, I will conquer death itself. Even now, my experiments are proceeding.

"Would you like me to share my secret of immortality when I find it?"

"Yes, of course, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko.

She would probably make an excellent late-stage testing subject. He'd have to get through the more dangerous experiments first, of course. But there was something appealing about a willing test subject. "Then, I certainly will. Now, why don't you find Iruka and see what preparations he is making." Knowing Iruka, he would be making preparations.

"Shouldn't we get Guy in on the preparations?" asked Anko.

Orochimaru blinked. "No. Why would we?"

"Well he is part of the team," said Anko, looking away,

"Yes, I'm aware. For the sake of the team, we will leave preparations to someone less hyperactive," said Orochimaru.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko, before racing off.

Orochimaru sensed Guy's chakra returning. He was going to have to find another impossible task for him, wasn't he?

* * *

A few weeks later, Orochimaru and his team of genin were making their way through the snowy roads of the Land of Snow. They'd landed at the port, and it was still behind them. Ahead was the main city, looming high in the air.

Anko was running this way and that, while Iruka trudged on reliably with his pack.

"Wow, look at this, Orochimaru-sensei!" said Anko. "Have you ever seen the snow so high?"

It was almost three feet deep, and Anko was up to her chest. Orochimaru suspected she'd be wet and miserable later. "Actually, yes. In winter."

"Iruka, let's have a snowball fight," said Anko.

"I agree," said Guy. "This seems a truly youthful pursuit."

"We probably shouldn't, Anko," said Iruka. "I mean, we do have a deadline."

"Iruka is quite right," said Orochimaru. "If we are not on time, they might feel the Leaf Village does not take their pathetic backwater seriously. We could hardly have that."

"But you don't take them seriously," said Iruka flatly.

"Of course I don't, Iruka," said Orochimaru. "But the key to being an official representative is lying convincingly. Then stick the knife in at the right time."

"The Third Hokage never acts like that," said Anko.

Orochimaru laughed. Sensei truly had a remarkable talent for presenting an image, didn't he?

"What's so funny," asked Guy.

"Ah, youth," said Orochimaru.

"I think it'll be great!" said Anko. "We'll get to stand up next to a Feudal Lord and watch thousands of people cheering! There will be all kinds of festivities, and then he'll bring summer about!"

"You are living in another world, aren't you, dear Anko?" asked Orochimaru. "His promises of restoring summer to the Land of Snow are just propaganda. Whatever he is developing, it isn't some mystical device meant to break the curse.

"It is far more likely to be a doomsday device or a train that launches thousands of kunai. Something practical."

"But restoring summer will help everyone, won't it?" asked Anko.

"Yes," said Orochimaru. "But making a doomsday weapon would help the Feudal Lord. One day, dear Anko, I shall finally teach you that snakes do not concern themselves with the opinions of-" And then a snowball slammed into his face. "Ow!"

"Hey!" said Anko. "Guy, you can't throw snowballs at Orochimaru-sensei."

"I was aiming for you, Anko!" said Guy.

Anko snatched up a snowball and hurled it across the path to deck Guy. "Well, take that!"

"You will not defeat me!" said Guy, hurling his own.

Orochimaru wiped the snow from his face and looked down at Iruka, who met his gaze flatly. Once, Iruka had been the class clown of his organization. A few days of being chased by a serpent named Asmodeus had broken him out of that.

Now he was the practical one of the group.

"...Aren't you going to join in?" asked Orochimaru.

"Aren't you, sensei?" asked Iruka.

"Of course not. I have my dignity to consider." scoffed Orochimaru. "As a rookie genin, you don't have any dignity. So you might as well take advantage of your insignificance while you have the chance."

Iruka met his gaze hard. Guy had detached himself completely from reality. It had happened after the first few weeks of Orochimaru's training. Anko had begun to hero-worship him, believing he could do no wrong. Iruka had simply begun to listen and say nothing.

"I'll take your packs in the meantime," said Orochimaru at last.

Iruka remained silent before Anko hurled a snowball at him. "Iruka heads up!"

Iruka flinched. "Hey, Anko, knock it off!"

"Make me!" called Anko.

Iruka drew off his pack and handed it to Orochimaru. "Take this, sensei!"

So began a lengthy snowball fight that wasted a great deal of time. Fortunately, the entire mission was a waste of time, so nothing was lost. Orochimaru watched his students play and sighed. "What a cheerful collection of mice."

* * *

Later that day, they arrived in the city. Anko, Guy, and Iruka looked around them at the vast skyscrapers where they walked. Here was a place made of stone and steel, and banners were raised throughout the city. People walked this way and that in clusters.

"Wow, we're here!" said Anko. "This place is amazing! Do you think we'll stay in the palace!"

Orochimaru laughed hysterically at that particular statement.

"What's funny, Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Anko.

"I was offered the chance to stay at the palace," said Orochimaru. "However, I chose to book us rooms at a hotel near the edges of the main city. It should be just here."

"Why the hotel?" asked Iruka.

"Let's just say that I have little interest in palace life," said Orochimaru. "I recommend you explore the town today; tomorrow it will be very busy." He drew out a sheet of paper and handed it to Iruka. "Iruka, here is a list of duties you'll have to attend to. Once we check-in, I will be doing the paperwork and going to bed early."

"But why?" asked Iruka.

"I'm what you might call a coldblooded ninja," said Orochimaru, walking off.

The hotel, as it turned out, was a pleasant enough bed and breakfast. It was heavily heated. To Orochimaru's disappointment, he was recognized as he checked in. That was the problem with being pale-skinned and dark-haired.

"Lord Orochimaru, I can't tell you how honored we are to have one of the Legendary Sannin here with us." said the hostess. "There are some guests who'd love to speak with-"

"How pleasant for you," said Orochimaru, filling out paperwork. "Where is my room?"

Orochimaru got the number and headed up before quickly writing out a general set of concepts. Speeches, meetings to reach. As he did, he thought back to his lab in the Leaf.

That gave him an idea of what to do for his speech.

He greeted Iruka, Anko, and Guy when they got back from looking around, then went back to work. Eventually, it was dark, and he went to sleep. As he looked up at the ceiling, he found, despite the heat, that he was still cold.

"I truly hate this place," he muttered.

As he fell asleep, he noticed the symbol of an Ouroboros over his door.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Okay, this is an idea I came up with long before my other Groundhog Day-style fic was even conceptualized. However, I didn't feel comfortable writing it until now.

Orochimaru is probably Kishimoto's best villain in that he is more or less completely bad, and yet a three-dimensional character. He is understandable in many ways. He really should have been the principal antagonist, since he is basically Naruto's evil counterpart. He is bad, not because of some freudian excuse, but because of the choices he made. Orochimaru is the ultimate counterargument to Naruto's ideology.

So if he had been the final villain it would have presented Naruto with a true challenge for his ideology.

But no, they had to make everything revolve around the Uchihas, who are by far the least interesting of all the clans.


	2. A Day of Business

**Chapter Two: A Day of Business**

Orochimaru woke up to hear heavy rock music playing as his wakeup call.

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway, and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back; I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core, I feel nothing._

_A new power, ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape, so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru resisted the urge to obliterate the pathetic device as he sat up. He hit the off button and stood up. Looking out the window, he saw people flocking through the streets toward the town square. Snow was on every corner, having been cleared away by workers. Below he saw his genin running to go about their duties. Orochimaru smiled.

_Come on; everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard, but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed, we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

Orochimaru turned, smile fading. "What infuriating music."

He hit the off button again.

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over, and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

Orochimaru pulled the plug. He could have blown it up, but the short term satisfaction wouldn't have been worth the hassle. Then he got ready for the day.

It was a cold day. Miserably cold at that. When he took a shower, the water was cold even when it was hot. By the time he dried and got his clothes on, he was shivering and miserable.

Stalking to the stairs, Orochimaru ran into a big, friendly-looking man.

"Good morning." said the man.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes. "Hello."

"Do you think the new Lord will really return summer to the land?" said the man.

"I have the utmost confidence in his ability to run this country into the ground if that's what you mean," said Orochimaru. "Though I expect even the most inept rulers would find that challenging." And he walked past.

Anko and the other two had already gone about their instructions. He could sense them casing out the area. With a smile, he walked along the street at a quick walk. Then he noticed something, a familiar, white-haired idiot clad in red. Before Orochimaru could walk on, the imbecile saw him and rushed up.

"Orochimaru?" said the man, offering a hand. "Orochimaru, is that you? Fancy seeing you here?!"

Orochimaru sighed. "...Jiraiya?"

"Yeah, I never expected to see you come all the way to this frozen place," said Jiraiya. "What are you doing here?"

"A mission," said Orochimaru, in the old way.

Jiraiya visibly deflated a bit. "Ah, right. Well, I'm still traveling the world like usual, doing research for my novels."

"Looking for a Chosen One?" asked Orochimaru, remembering his own 'destiny.' One he had discarded without a second thought.

Jiraiya blinked. "Well, yes. No luck on that, though. Though I'm actually hoping Minato might surprise me."

"Perhaps you could try picking a random person off the street," said Orochimaru with a smile. "You could half train them and then walk off before they amount to anything — only this time charge for lessons.

"Or we could save time, and just kill them for their pocket change. It certainly seems like a more efficient use of resources."

Jiraiya went grim at those words. Orochimaru hoped he would flare up and fight him; it would be an entertaining diversion. "You're still bitter about Tsunade, aren't you? Can't we put that behind us?"

Orochimaru could hardly stop the sneer from reaching his face before he looked away. "No."

"Fine, I get the picture," said Jiraiya. There was silence for a moment. "Are you sure you don't want to get drinks? For old times sake?"

Orochimaru looked him square in the face, and Jiraiya took a step back. "I assure you, I have no interest in old times. In fact, you may have made me late. Enjoy your meaningless life of failure and skirt-chasing. Some of us have actual ambition."

And he stalked off.

He felt rather better when he finally reached the city square where he was to meet Anko, Iruka, and Guy. Anko was munching on a donut and had sprinkles around her mouth as she ran to meet him. "Orochimaru-sensei, where have you been? You're missing all the fun here."

"Fun is a subjective affair, and I don't see any of it," said Orochimaru, looking at the mindless mice singing and dancing. "We ought to meet the Feudal Lord and prepare to make our speech. Promising eternal friendship before the knives come out, as usual. You have searched the crowd, have you not?" He should have asked that last part first. Had Jiraiya rattled him?

"Yes, of course," said Iruka. "Guy is on the lookout, and I've got a list of all potential areas of attack in the area where the speech will be made."

"Excellent," said Orochimaru. "We shall review them on the way to the palace."

The palace, as it turned out, was a tall and drab place. Very practical and defensible. The adornments were mostly on the outside, where people could see. Within were practical, clinical, and cold halls. Something was off, however.

"Hmm, odd," said Orochimaru, looking around.

"What is it?" asked Iruka.

"I remember there being a good deal more gilding on these walls last time," said Orochimaru. "No matter, the Lord awaits."

Lord Sosetsu Kazahana was a kind-looking bespectacled man with long brown. He was clad in white and green and sat at the top of a dias on his throne. Kneeling before him, Orochimaru remembered the last time he'd been here.

He'd put the man's Father in power if memory served.

"Lord Orochimaru, the strongest of the Legendary Sannin," said Lord Kazahana. "You honor my humble Kingdom by your presence."

"On the contrary, the honor is entirely mine." lied Orochimaru. "These are my students, Anko, Iruka, and Guy."

"Nice to meet you-Ow!" began Anko, before Iruka stepped on her foot.

"Stop it, Anko," said Iruka. "We're in front of royalty."

Kazahana laughed. "It's quite alright. I'm not one to stand on royal ceremony when there is business to be done."

"Excellent," said Orochimaru, wanting to be done here. "Then perhaps you could tell us what role you would like us to play in the events, so we don't die from excitement."

"Well, just standing beside me should be more than sufficient," said Kazahana. "These sorts of formalities are a pain, but they're necessary. The festival will make people believe in the future of the Land of Snow. Your very presence here will make them feel secure of the friendship between our lands."

"Yes, they are gullible, aren't they?" noted Orochimaru. He remembered all too well the battle to take this city — the bodies of men, women, and children were strewn across the streets. The screams were rising up over flames as ninja killed each other in the streets.

Human beings were such fragile things.

"Are you implying something," asked Kazahana.

Orochimaru smiled at him as he came back to reality. "Are you?"

Kazahana stepped back a pace. "...In any case, I would like it if you made a speech to the assembled masses. in order to prove the sincerity with which the Leaf maintains this alliance."

"You want Orochimaru-sensei to be sincere?" asked Anko, sounding worried.

Orochimaru clenched his fist and glanced back. "Anko..."

"Well, it's just, um, Orochimaru-sensei isn't very good at that kind of thing," said Anko.

"Awful," said Iruka.

"Indeed!" said Guy. "Orochimaru-sensei is a master of sarcasm and deception. However, his youthful spirit was crippled in-"

"Yes, you've made your point." snapped Orochimaru. "And I am perfectly capable of appearing sincere when I want to. Moreover, it is the Leaf's sincerity that I am to be projecting. Not my own."

"So you will do it then?" asked Kazahana.

Orochimaru realized he'd closed off his ability to say no. It didn't matter to him, but it was strange. How one moment could force you down a path, you'd never trod before. You'd leave behind ones you would never tread again.

If only one could relive a day. If only the world truly was eternal like the Ouroboros.

"...Of course," said Orochimaru.

"Excellent," said Kazahana. "I have plans to break this curse of winter and restore the Land of Snow to how it once was. No doubt you were briefed on that?"

Orochimaru remembered it and the concerns it had brought to mind. He could raise them in private, but he'd probably be brushed off. "Yes."

"Good," said Kazahana. "I will need you to touch on that and give the people confidence."

"But of course," said Orochimaru.

Then a child rushed into the room, with long blue hair. She was about Anko's age and far less in shape. She was thin, of course, but she was no ninja. Orochimaru could have put a kunai in her in an instant.

Probably not worth the effort. Kazahana seemed to know her, and bodies were trouble to dispose of.

"Father!" said the girl, stomping forward.

Orochimaru found himself desiring to throw a kunai in her all the more. At the same time, he felt relieved he hadn't. Murdering stupid people was fun, but one shouldn't mix it with international incidents.

"Koyuki, I told you not to come out here," said Kazahana. "You know how important this is."

"But the guards won't let me leave the palace!" said Koyuki. "I want to join in the festivities!"

Did she?

She'd be eaten alive. Was she one of those insufferable noble brats who fantasized about being a commoner? Possibly. Or she might just be used to getting her own way. Orochimaru was certain she'd never bordered on starvation, though.

"Koyuki, the festival could be dangerous for you," said Kazahana. "I've already discussed this with you, and my answer will not change.

"Now, leave us." His voice was stern.

She pouted and stormed off. Kazahana turned to Orochimaru. "I apologize for that. My daughter can be... unruly.

"I must be honest with you. I didn't request the presence of one of the Legendary Sannin for a show of support.

"There is a risk that I may be targetted."

"Your brother?" guessed Orochimaru with a smile. Family squabbles were so amusing. It was remarkable how quickly they could turn a good world into a hell.

"Yes," said Kazahana, breaking out into cold sweat. "Stop smiling."

Orochimaru's smile widened. "What are you talking about?"

"I do not want to believe that Doto would move against me, and I do not believe it," said Kazahana. "However, he is staunchly against many of my policies. If he were to move against me, it would be now, before my ascension is official."

"You do not need to worry!" said Guy. "We are splendid ninja of youth, and not one hair on your heads shall be harmed." The usual sort of Guy wording. He was often very quiet for a while, and then he'd interject at the least opportune moment.

"I'm glad to hear it," said Kazahana. "Now, perhaps we should prepare for the speeches."

* * *

And that was how Orochimaru stood before the assembled crowds of the Land of Snow. It was miserably cold on the balcony, worse than anywhere else. The wind howled and made Orochimaru in an even worse mood than usual.

So he decided to be spiteful. "We have come here to celebrate the ascension of the new Lord of Snow. Words cannot describe the joy with which I announce the ascension of a man who plans to one-day return spring.

"Logically, of course, such an action would devastate the local ecosystem. And lead to the death of virtually everyone here by slow starvation. But don't listen to me. I'm just a scientist."

There was laughter. And he looked to the others.

He didn't appreciate being told to make a speech and then being given talking points. And it wasn't as though this man could do anything to him. Kazahana had his face in his hands, and Anko, Iruka, and Guy were looking on in horror.

"Orochimaru-sensei... do you think you could make that speech again without the sarcasm?" asked Anko.

"No," said Orochimaru, before forming a snake and pulling Anko to the front. "Now, smile Anko. It's what you're being paid to do." Then he walked over to the Lord as the next speeches came, passing it off as a joke. Certainly, many people were laughing, so perhaps some were not so wholly ignorant.

Chances were most didn't even know what ecology meant.

"It's chakra based." said the Lord.

"Hmm?" asked Orochimaru.

"My method of transforming the Land of Snow to a paradise," said Kazahana. "The constant snowfall is a result of an age-old curse placed by the Rabbit Goddess, Kaguya. Or so the old stories go.

"I am designing a device that will create a chakra pulse that will break that curse."

"The law of unintended consequences dooms your efforts, I'm afraid," said Orochimaru. "Change one thing about the world, and you set off a domino effect. Thousands of tiny changes could cause species to lose their food supply. Or they could die from heat their bodies are not adapted to.

"I would not be too hasty to break that curse, Lord Kazahana. You might do more harm than good."

Kazahana eyed him and realized Orochimaru was giving him good advice. Orochimaru could tell from the way his face changed, and he looked away. "...I will look into the unintended consequences, of course. But if I do nothing, this land will remain forever frozen."

"Yes. We wouldn't want that," said Orochimaru. "Anko, Guy, Iruka, take the agreed positions. We'll be on guard for the rest."

On went the ceremony. Speeches were made, the crown was set on the man's head, and beer and pretzels were passed out. This time they didn't run out, so there wasn't a massacre. For his part, Orochimaru focused entirely on the Lord's safety, and his genin did as well.

"Well, that's done," said Anko sadly. "I still can't believe nothing happened. I was looking forward to testing out the new jutsus you taught me."

"And I wish to try taking off my weights and fighting with my full strength," said Guy.

"I'm just glad nothing happened," said Iruka.

Orochimaru sighed. He was so done with the Land of Snow. The longer he stayed here, the more likely he was to run into Jiraiya again. "Well, the crown is on his head.

"Let's go; we're leaving." And he surged off.

The three caught up with him as he leaped over rooftops.

"Leaving?" asked Anko. "What do you mean we're leaving?"

"Yes, we've fulfilled our obligations and presided over the ceremony," said Orochimaru. "I'm certain we all have better things to do with our time than sightsee in this hellhole."

"But I want to sightsee!" said Anko.

"Yes, I do not see the harm in staying another day," said Guy, speaking up for once.

"I'm in the midst of critical experiments. They may lead to the immortality of the human race," said Orochimaru. "Think about that, won't you? If attained, mankind will no longer grow old; it will be possible to learn everything! Know everything.

"Every minute we waste here means more people will die before I can give them the cure for death.

"Now come, we have work to do."

"But-" began Guy.

"Let it pass, Guy," said Iruka.

They arrived at their hotel. Orochimaru went in through a window before walking toward the steps. The hostess stopped him as he walked. "Lord Orochimaru, will you be checking out today? I mean, there is tell of a blizzard."

"I assure you, hostess, no force in the universe could keep me here a moment later," said Orochimaru. "Get your things, everyone."

"That's why you checked us in here," said Iruka in a voice of realization.

"Hmm, what did you say, Iruka?" asked Orochimaru.

"You didn't want to have to offend the Feudal Lord," said Iruka. "So you checked us in here so we could leave as soon as we finished.

"We traveled thousands of miles to get here, and you won't even let us smell the roses."

"Don't worry, Iruka. There aren't any flowers in this miserable rock," said Anko, trying to please him. It was somewhat cute.

"Well, actually, there are some rare forms of flowers that grow in the-" began Iruka.

"Nobody cares, I'm afraid," said Orochimaru.

They got their things, and they were off.

Until they weren't.

It was a train track that led to the tunnel, which led to the only port. And people were scurrying around, teeming around the trains. The trains were packed.

"Um, Orochimaru-sensei, I think that looks pretty backed up," said Anko.

Was it possible that he'd have to stay in the Land of Snow? "No! NO!" cried Orochimaru as he stormed up to a guard. "You guard! What has happened here?"

"Nothing is happening here." snapped the guard. "The port is closed. We've got a massive blizzard moving in, and nobody is allowed to use the roads."

"What blizzard?" asked Orochimaru. "This is absurd! I will not allow some... figment of nature to interfere with my return home."

"Look, snake eyes." snapped the guard. "You can go back to the capital. Or you can stay out here and let nature take its course. It's your choice!"

Orochimaru looked back to the capital. Then up to stormclouds, that would likely cause the temperature to drop. Chances were any attempt at camping would result in their deaths in minutes. Those chances turned to certainty as time went on.

"Well?" asked the guard.

Orochimaru sighed. "...I'm weighing my options."

"So we're going back?" asked Anko with a smile.

"Alright, maybe we can do some sightseeing tomorrow," said Iruka.

"We shall do no such thing." snapped Orochimaru. "As soon as we wake up, we'll head out back here and get out of this land. We've wasted enough time here already."

"Aw!" said Anko at a whine.

Orochimaru paid her no heed as he walked onward. "What an utter waste of time this has been. Well, tomorrow is another day."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, writing this fic has killed my interest in the Orochimaru/Anko ship. Now that I've written this, I see Orochimaru as sort of that one guy who talks a big game. But beneath the surface isn't nearly as bad as he makes himself out to be. A sort of grumpy dad type character to his genin. This renders any sexual vibe between them horrifying. It serves as a sign of just how far Orochimaru has degenerated.

What's sad about him is that he became the heartless person he was pretending to be. While he began to appear like the guy he once was. In essence, Orochimaru's mask became his true self. And his true self became his mask.

This is also why Orochimaru is, in my mind, Naruto's ideal nemesis. In a series whose villains are all hiding behind a mask of some kind, Orochimaru is unique. He wears his 'good' self out in the open for anyone to see.

But what, for me, makes him chilling, is that his desires are understandable.

Orochimaru wants immortality, a universal human desire. Orochimaru wants to be the best person he can be, to know everything. Orochimaru wants to be special and noticed around him.

These are all desires that are understandable.

Pain can commit atrocities for World Peace all he wants, and he doesn't scare me. But Orochimaru, for all his monstrous appearance, is... human. I could see a real person, albeit a deranged one, being driven to commit similar crimes to Orochimaru.

Naruto and Orochimaru were never able to have a clash of ideals. And that is the greatest failing of the series.

Also, the first Naruto Shippuden opening is absolutely perfect for the fic. The lyrics are about a group of heroes returning, so it works with the concept. But the context is also perfect. Naruto Shippuden OP 1 was first heard after the fanbase had been trapped within endless repetitive filler arcs for years. Mostly with saccharine and predictable plots that bored us all to tears.

The first time this opening ran, it was right after Sasuke had made his long-awaited return, and Madara Uchiha had been introduced. The next few episodes introduced Deidara and Sasori and had some of the absolute best fights in the series. It was akin to a snake shedding a tattered old skin if you'll forgive the comparison. It also marks the point where Orochimaru stopped being the primary villain and gradually decayed to secondary villain, eventually leading to him throwing in the towel and becoming 'good.'

All of these things make it a perfect, ironic fit for the story.

More on that later.


	3. Deja Vu

**Chapter Three****: Deja Vu**

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway, and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back; I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core, I feel nothing._

_A new power, ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape, so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru pulled himself up with a sigh and stood up, "Wonderful, they put the wrong tape in. Imbeciles. And it's still broken."

Making his way out to the window he looked out. Outside he saw Anko, Iruka, and Guy running out in exactly the same fashion as last time. Genjutsu, perhaps? "Still, hmm, that's familiar."

Today was going to either ber very interesting, or very dull.

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard, but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed, we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over, and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

Stalking to the stairs, Orochimaru ran into a big, friendly-looking man.

"Good morning." said the man.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes. "...Hello."

"Do you think the new Lord will really return summer to the land?" said the man.

"...I'll get back to you," said Orochimaru.

Everything seemed similar — exactly the same, in fact.

Anko, the other two, had already gone about their instructions. He could sense them casing out the area. With a smile, he walked along the street at a quick walk. Then he noticed Jiraiya again. Before Orochimaru could walk on, the imbecile saw him and rushed up.

"Orochimaru?" said Jiraiya, offering a hand. "Orochimaru, is that you? Fancy seeing you here?!"

Orochimaru looked at the hand in bemusement. "...Jiraiya?"

"Yeah, I never expected to see you come all the way to this frozen place," said Jiraiya. "What are you doing here?"

"...I am in the midst of a mission," said Orochimaru. "I think. One moment." He closed his eyes, set his hands together, and channeled his chakra. "Genjutsu, release." Nothing happened. "Genjutsu, release.

"Are you alright?" asked Jiraiya.

Orochimaru opened his eyes and looked around for any weaknesses he could break. "I think I'm reliving today."

"Oh, I heard about that," said Jiraiya. "It's called deja vu. It's the feeling that you've experienced something before.

"Hey, um, you want to go get drinks or something?"

Orochimaru did not. But he didn't feel the endless scorn this time around. "...I think I'd better see to my students."

* * *

"Orochimaru-sensei, where have you been? You're missing all the fun here."

"So I've been told," said Orochimaru. He looked at the mindless mice singing and dancing for the second time. "In any case, the time for us to meet the Lord is coming. Have you searched the crowd?" He seemed to have made the same mistake twice.

He'd been rattled.

"Yes, of course," said Iruka. "Guy is on the lookout, and I've got a list of all potential areas of attack in the area where the speech will be made."

"Very well," said Orochimaru. "We shall review them on the way to the palace."

It was possible he'd had some vision. But what manner of vision would focus on a completely eventful day?

The palace, as it turned out, was much as it had been before. Practical and defensible. No decorations within, with all the gold torn off.

"Is something wrong, Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Anko.

"It's nothing," said Orochimaru. "Deja Vu, I suppose. In any case, the Lord awaits.

Lord Sosetsu Kazahana was just as he had been. If Orochimaru had seen a vision of the future's, it's only purpose seemed to be to make this mission even more boring. As usual, Orochimaru and company kneeled before him.

Why had he put this man's father in power anyway?

Sensei, Jiraiya, and Tsunade had gone out and taken care of it all.

"Lord Orochimaru, the strongest of the Legendary Sannin," said Lord Kazahana. "You honor my humble Kingdom by your presence."

"The honor is entirely mine." lied Orochimaru again. "These are my students, Anko, Iruka, and Guy."

"Nice to meet you-Ow!" began Anko, before Iruka stepped on her foot.

"Stop it, Anko," said Iruka. "We're in front of royalty."

Kazahana laughed. "It's quite alright. I'm not one to stand on royal ceremony when there is business to be done."

"I'm glad to hear it," said Orochimaru, sick of this meeting. He'd had to do this before, but he had to stick to the cards. "Perhaps you could tell us what role you would like us to play in the events."

"Well, just standing beside me should be more than sufficient," said Kazahana. "These sorts of formalities are a pain, but they're necessary. The festival will make people believe in the future of the Land of Snow. Your very presence here will make them feel secure of the friendship between our lands."

"That should be a simple enough matter," noted Orochimaru. Which village had he been fighting again? Or had he been fighting rogue ninja? There always were plenty of those looking to make a living. Either because they were outlaws or their villages had been destroyed.

All of a sudden, Orochimaru just felt bitter.

Kazahana stepped back a pace. "...In any case, I would like it if you made a speech to the assembled masses. It will prove the sincerity with which the Leaf maintains this alliance."

"You want Orochimaru-sensei to be sincere?" asked Anko, sounding worried.

Here they went again.

"Well, it's just, um, Orochimaru-sensei isn't very good at that kind of thing," said Anko.

"Awful," said Iruka.

"Indeed!" said Guy. "Orochimaru-sensei is a master of sarcasm and deception. However, his youthful spirit was crippled in-"

"I am certain that I will be able to attend to the matter." snapped Orochimaru. "Is the Leaf's sincerity that I am to be projecting. Not my own." How many times was he going to have to say the same thing in so many words?

"So you will do it then?" asked Kazahana.

Orochimaru had no choice. "Of course, I will."

"Excellent," said Kazahana. "I have plans to break this curse of winter and restore the Land of Snow to how it once was. No doubt you were briefed on that?"

Orochimaru was so sick of today. "Yes."

"Good," said Kazahana. "I will need you to touch on that and give the people confidence."

"I know," said Orochimaru.

Then that stupid Princess rushed into the room. How dearly Orochimaru wanted to cut her throat, the way she preened as if she owned the place.

"Father!" said the girl, stomping forward.

Orochimaru wondered how she'd look if he did go through with it. You saw who people really were, before their death.

"Koyuki, I told you not to come out here," said Kazahana. "You know how important this is."

"But the guards won't let me leave the palace!" said Koyuki. "I want to join in the festivities!"

Orochimaru had a mental image of Anko transforming into a snake hybrid. She surged across the room and began to devour this brat. She screamed and struggled as the serpent gradually closed over her body. It was quite appealing.

"Koyuki, the festival could be dangerous for you," said Kazahana. "I've already discussed this with you, and my answer will not change.

"Now, leave us." His voice was stern.

She pouted and stormed off. Kazahana turned to Orochimaru. "I apologize for that. My daughter can be... unruly.

"I must be honest with you. I didn't request the presence of one of the Legendary Sannin for a show of support.

"There is a risk that I may be targetted."

"Your brother?" guessed Orochimaru. "I wouldn't worry about him."

"All the same, I'd like you on your guard," said Kazahana, breaking out into cold sweat. "I do not want to believe that Doto would move against me, and I do not believe it. However, he is staunchly against many of my policies. If he were to move against me, it would be now, before my ascension is official."

"You do not need to worry!" said Guy. "We are splendid ninja of youth, and not one hair on your heads shall be harmed." The usual sort of Guy wording. He was often very quiet for a while, and then he'd interject at the least opportune moment.

"I'm glad to hear it," said Kazahana. "Now, perhaps we should prepare for the speeches."

* * *

So once again, Orochimaru stood before the assembled crowds of the Land of Snow. It was miserably cold on the balcony, worse than anywhere else. The wind howled, and yet it didn't affect Orochimaru's mood at all. He'd been here before.

So he spoke. "Once again, the land of Snow have come to celebrate the ascension of a new Feudal Lord. Words cannot describe the joy with which I announce the ascension of a new Lord of the Land of Snow. A man who will one day return summer to the Land of Snow.

"I am certain he will rule wisely and that his reign shall be one of peace and plenty."

Orochimaru said some other things. Meaningless formalities and then he went back to the Lord. He really ought to bring up the possible ramifications of what he was doing. "You ought to have a care in how you return spring to the Land of Snow, my lord."

"What do you mean?" asked the Lord.

"The law of unintended consequences is a problem, I'm afraid," said Orochimaru. "Change one thing about the world, and you set off a domino effect. Thousands of tiny changes can cause species to lose their food supply. Or they die from heat their bodies are not adapted to.

"I would not be too hasty to break the curse, Lord Kazahana. You might do more harm than good."

Kazahana eyed him and realized Orochimaru was giving him good advice. Orochimaru could tell from the way his face changed, and he looked away. "...I will look into the unintended consequences, of course. But if I do nothing, this land will remain forever frozen."

"Yes," said Orochimaru, not feeling up to it. "Anko, Guy, Iruka, take the agreed positions. We'll be on guard for the rest."

So on went the ceremony, again. Speeches were made, the crown was set on the man's head, and beer and pretzels were passed out. This time they didn't run out, so there wasn't a massacre. For his part, Orochimaru focused entirely on the Lord's safety, and his genin did as well.

"Well, that's done," said Anko sadly. "I still can't believe nothing happened. I was looking forward to testing out the new jutsus you taught me."

"And I wish to try taking off my weights and fighting with my full strength," said Guy.

"I'm just glad nothing happened," said Iruka.

Orochimaru sighed. He was so done with the Land of Snow. The longer he stayed here, the more likely he was to run into Jiraiya again. "Well, the crown is on his head." He was about to order them to leave. Then he realized they'd be caught in a snow storm. "Why don't you three break up and do some tourism."

"Really?!" said Anko.

"Yes, yes," said Orochimaru, "just don't drink anything. You may be able to drink alcohol legally, but it isn't healthy. I intend to get some rest. The weather doesn't look like it will allow us to go anywhere."

"Yes, sensei!" They said.

Then they were off.

Orochimaru sighed and made his way back to the hotel. Checking in, he made his way up the steps and into his room. There he turned the heat to maximum and got into bed. He looked up at the ceiling, feeling truly miserable.

He hated it when he lost control of things. It meant he couldn't scoff at other's shortcomings.

Today had been an absolute nightmare. He wasn't even sure why.

"Well, tomorrow is another day," said Orochimaru to himself.

* * *

Orochimaru awoke the next morning.

Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me.

Battle's underway, and now we'll gather like a storm see.

I'm coming back; I won't be leaving this early.

So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?

My bodies shaking, at my core, I feel nothing.

A new power, ringing out like it's stompin.

I can't escape, so let it just call me.

You'll never stop my cuz it's my new-

It was that song again!

Orochimaru snapped. **"FIRE STYLE! FIREBALL JUTSU!"**


	4. Realization

**Chapter Four: Realization**

One melted clock later, Orochimaru made his way out of the inn and into the streets. Walking through it, he quickly evaded Jiraiya. The last thing he wanted was to meet that idiot again and have the same conversation again.

Soon enough, he saw Anko, Iruka, and Guy waiting. Anko ran up to him, all smiles. "Orochimaru-sensei, where have you been? You've been missing all the fun."

Orochimaru remained silent for a moment, unsure of how to operate.

"Orochimaru-sensei?" asked Iruka.

"You okay, sensei?" asked Anko.

"I'm having a problem, Anko," said Orochimaru after a moment. "New mission, I need you three to fan out and find everything you can on time-related jutsus."

"What?" said Iruka. "Time related?"

"Yes, I have experienced this day several times over. I believe there is some sort of time-related jutsu at work," said Orochimaru. Best to repurpose this mission to get them out, he already knew there wouldn't be an assassination.

"But what about the Feudal Lord?" asked Anko.

"Nothing happened the last time we checked in. Just..." Orochimaru considered he had a meeting. "Iruka, take a message to the Feudal Lord. Tell him were have found suspicious activity and need to investigate it at once.

"I-"

"Orochimaru?" said Jiraiya's voice. Orochimaru looked up to see him rushing up. "Orochimaru is that you, fancy seeing you here!"

"Jiraiya," said Orochimaru. "What is it?"

"Well, I mean, I figured I'd go check out the festivities and see if I could find any beautiful girls," said Jiraiya. "Then, I saw you here. It's a regular reunion."

"...Is it?" asked Orochimaru.

"Um, sensei," said Anko, "who is this person?"

"This is-" began Orochimaru.

"I am the Toad Sage Jiraiya!" said Jiraiya. "Orochimaru and I were on the same team."

"You mean you were one of the Legendary Sanin, like Tsunade and Orochimaru-sensei!" said Guy. "Wow, you must be among the greatest of all the youthful ninja!"

"Yes, of course." said Orochimaru. "Now-"

"You bet I am!" said Jiraiya. "Orochimaru and I used to get up to all kinds of things! Hey, remember that time Tsunade put me in the hospital and-"

"Moving on!" said Orochimaru, not desiring to reminisce on the old times. He dearly wished to start a massacre, but that would be designated as wrong. By sensei. A man who orchestrated a massive war in numerous less prosperous nations for money.

But Orochimaru wasn't bitter.

"Is something wrong?" asked Jiraiya.

"Orochimaru-sensei thinks we're stuck in a time loop," said Anko.

Jiraiya blinked. "Seriously? That kind of jutsu is pretty high up."

"I've had to put up with meeting you three times now." hissed Orochimaru, not liking Jiraiya near his students. "That is not something I imagine in my darkest nightmares, Jiraiya."

"Harsh," said Jiraiya, not looking nearly as offended as he ought to. Or at all. "It's a shame this didn't happen in the Leaf. Old Sarutobi probably has all kinds of knowledge on this subject."

"You could probably give them a call on one of those long-distance telephones," said Iruka. "The ones' that just came out. I heard they built a new tower just recently."

"Thos things are pretty costly, kid," said Jiraiya. "I prefer to use toad messengers."

Ah, at last, a chance to get away from all this. Orochimaru looked around. "I'll leave you four to get acquainted. I need to give sensei a phone call.

"Once you're finished, there's something I need you to do..."

* * *

The phone call wasn't going through.

"Your joking?" snarled Orochimaru. "All of the long-distance lines are down? What about the summons? Is it snowing in the gap between dimensions?

"Wait, interdimensional fluctuations? Don't you have some kind of line you keep open for legendary ninja, or VIPs?

"I am both? I am Orochimaru, the Legendary Snake Sanin and-

"Ow!"

He said 'ow' because Anko walked by him and accidentally whacked him on the head with a snow shovel. Orochimaru looked up and saw Anko looking up, blinking in surprise. "Oh, sorry, Orochimaru-sensei. I sort of got a job shoveling the driveways. We were just going to do this places courtyard."

"Anko, I thought I told you to check for signs of strange jutsu activity," said Orochimaru.

"I did," said Anko with a shrug. "We went all over that whole section of town and didn't find anything. Jiraiya even summoned some toads to sense for it. And the Feudal Lord set up some machinery designed to scan for chakra disturbances.

"We didn't find anything."

"Do it again," said Orochimaru, hanging up.

"But I haven't finished my job-" began Anko.

"Again," said Orochimaru.

* * *

Orochimaru woke up.

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway, and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

Orochimaru sat up in irritation.

It was time to try again.

This time he wasted no time in going to meet Anko, Guy, and Iruka. He was quick to pick Jiraiya up without speaking to him. Jiraiya was, at his best, a useful idiot and could be used for extra legwork.

From there, he explained the situation. After that, he had Iruka get a map of the city. Together they drew up a number of most likely places for a time machine, and, or, ninja post.

"We've drawn a complete list of places you missed," said Orochimaru. "We'll search these areas."

"Oh come on," said Anko, "I wanted to spend time on the festivities."

"Come now, Anko," said Guy. "Running from rooftop to rooftop in pursuit of an evil ninja is the epitome of youthful activity."

"What about the Lord?" asked Iruka.

"He can wait." hissed Orochimaru.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway, and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

Orochimaru sat up.

So they had found nothing. They'd kept searching the entire day, and eventually, it just reset.

This time he'd get out.

Standing up, he dressed and made his way up. Quickly meeting his student, he redid his plans. "Check the following locations again. And use the chakra sensing devices while you're there."

"Again?" asked Iruka. "We haven't-"

"Time loop," said Orochimaru.

"This seems a bit weird," said Jiraiya. "You sure-"

"Yes," said Orochimaru.

"But what about the festivities?" asked Anko. "I was really hoping to deal with some of them."

"Well, you'll just have to do it tomorrow," said Orochimaru.

"Aw!" said Anko.

"Get to work," said Orochimaru.

* * *

The sound of drumbeats filled his ears. Orochimaru sat up, his fist shaking in a fury.

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Once again, he gathered his team and filled them in. He analyzed the places he had not been. "Obviously, whatever is doing this is not in the upper levels of the city," said Orochimaru. "We will, therefore, check the sewer system."

"But that place is filthy," said Anko.

"Yeah," said Jiraiya. "Are you sure you want these kids mucking around in the sewers. Especially in this kind of weather. Its freezing down there."

"Get a winter coat," said Orochimaru flatly.

"Aw!"

* * *

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

Orochimaru stood up, grabbed the alarm clock, walked over to the window, opened it, and hurled it out. It smashed on the cobblestones as he turned to get dressed again. This was... frustrating.

He hardly controlled his rage as he went through the usual motions. Who was doing this? And why? "Check the palace!"

"But we're not allowed-" began Iruka.

"Irrelevant!" snarled Orochimaru.

* * *

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

Orochimaru didn't smash the alarm clock this time. He just got dressed and walked out. The weather was cold, as usual, and the same people were walking in the same place. His hands were in his pockets.

And then he ran into Jiraiya. He'd accidentally retraced the steps he'd taken the first time. Jiraiya ran forward toward him. "Orochimaru?" said Jiraiya, offering a hand. "Orochimaru, is that you? Fancy seeing you here?!"

Orochimaru looked at the hand in bemusement. "...Jiraiya?"

"Yeah, I never expected to see you come all the way to this frozen place," said Jiraiya. "What are you doing here?"

"...I need a drink," said Orochimaru.

"Huh, well, I guess we all do sometimes," said Jiraiya. "You know, there's a nice tavern near here with the most beautiful barmaids? Want to check her out?"

"After I get my students," said Jiraiya.

"Oh, you've got students?" asked Jiraiya. "I guess I should really know this, but I haven't been back in the Leaf for a while."

"They entered my service just this year," said Orochimaru. "Sensei wants me to learn a conscience. Not that he is one to talk."

"Well, you always were a cynic," said Jiraiya.

"You fought in the Land of Rain just like I did," said Orochimaru.

Jiraiya sighed. "I guess I did. So, why don't we get these students."

In the end, Orochimaru only brought Anko. Iruka and Guy. He gave something to keep them occupied, message to run. Duties to perform. Anko, Orochimaru, needed to make sure Jiraiya didn't try to draw him into any debauchery.

"Um, Orochimaru-sensei, I'm pretty sure I'm underaged," said Anko.

"Technically, you are a legal adult, as a ninja," said Orochimaru simply. "You can order whatever drink you want."

"Don't worry, we have nonalcoholic beverages for ninjas below twenty-one." said a barmaid, one of those blonde voluptuous types Jiraiya liked so much. A substitute for Tsunade, probably.

"Right, um, I'll get a root beer, please," said Anko, looking to Orochimaru as if she needed his approval.

"One root bear," said Orochimaru. "I'll get fruit juice."

"Fruit juice?" asked Jiraiya. "You always got something stronger than that when we drank before."

"I am now immune to poisons," said Orochimaru. "Owing to certain training on my part. A side effect of an accident."

"Okay," said Jiraiya, "I'll get the strongest drink you have. And may I say, you are perhaps the prettiest young lady I've ever seen in the Land of Snow."

Cue flirting. It was almost nostalgic, and they talked about a few things. Eventually, Jiraiya cut to the chase, and Orochimaru told him what was happening again. Jiraiya blinked. "So, that's a bit of a weird problem you've got there, Orochimaru. You sure it isn't some kind of trick."

"No," said Orochimaru. "I've searched the entire city and found nothing. It just keeps repeating.

"This is obviously going to take a lot more work to uncover than I initially expected." It was such an absolute waste.

Jiraiya paused. "Well, I mean, as long as you're stuck here, Orochimaru, you could think of this as an opportunity."

Orochimaru blinked. "Opportunity?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, if you were repeating the same day over and over again and everything just resets... well... that means there are no consequences," said Jiraiya, sipping from his beer. "You could do anything you wanted, perform any experiments or whatever, and not suffer... any... consequences..." Jiraiya trailed off as it caught up with him what he was suggesting and to who. "I didn't mean that! Forget I said that!"

"No," said Orochimaru, before looking over to Anko. "Hey, Anko. I need you to head over to the hotel with the others real quick. I've got to finish some discussions."

"Right, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko, standing up and rushing out.

Orochimaru walked out after her and noticed the sun was setting as Anko ran into the distance. Orochimaru waved and smiled. Jiraiya paid his bill and came out after him. "Hey, listen, Orochimaru, when I said no consequences, I was half-drunk okay. Karma operates outside time and space, and I know you've got some serious issues, but I really think-"

Anko was gone. Orochimaru whirled on Jiraiya. "Shut up! Do you have any idea how sick I am of this, of all of this!

"Sarutobi makes pretensions to justice and leaves me to do his dirty work. Minato speaks of heroism and true ninja way, even as I get orders to encourage wars in the Land of Rain! Do you know how many villages have been burned up by Leaf Village ninja on his watch?! MORE THAN ZERO!"

"Orochimaru, look, no one is perfect at following the Will of Fire, least of all me, but it exists for a reason," said Jiraiya. "Anko... your students like and respect me, and you shouldn't throw-"

"Throw that away?" asked Orochimaru. "Except, as you've just kindly pointed out, it'll be back to normal at the end of the day. Morality has now outlived its usefulness."

"You can't-" began Jiraiya.

"So sensei, and the Uchiha, can all pat themselves on the back for being splendid little ninjas!" snarled Orochimaru. "And all the while they murder, and steal, and lie their ways to prosperity. And I'm an outcast because I refuse to wear the mask!

"All my life I've had to pretend to feel things that don't exist!

"Don't kill those orphans Orochimaru, it would make us feel guilty! Nevermind that we've killed hundreds and put thousands more on the streets!

"Don't interfere with Root for brainwashing children, those orphans would have died anyway! Nevermind that we put them there in the first place!

"Oh yes, and one final one." Orochimaru's mouth widened as his teets became sharp. "Don't try learning Sage Mode without a spotter."

"Well, actually that last one is really good advice..." began Jiraiya.

And then the mask fell away. The skin of humanity Orochimaru had worn for so long was gone. Arms and legs merged into his sides as he arose in full power, a vast serpent. And thousands of smaller serpents were in the place of scales.

Jiraiya staggered back, looking on in horror. "What the hell did you do to yourself?!"

"I'm not going to play by their rules anymore!" cried Orochimaru as his toxins took effect on Jiraiya. The Toad Sage collapsed and died from a single, rapid bit.

And then Orochimaru killed everyone.

Except for Anko, Guy and Iruka obviously. He was actually rather proud as they moved to try and save civilians. They had learned their lessons well and managed to set numerous traps. But it wasn't enough.

It would never be enough.

Orochimaru devoured, destroyed, consumed. He butchered all these pathetic sheep. Too long had they lived in ignorance of the horrors that built their shallow world. He didn't fear tomorrow as he gazed over the broken ruins.

There hadn't been one today.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

Orochimaru arose with new enthusiasm. Killing everyone had been... cathartic. And there wasn't any harm done, so he was morally in the clear. The ninja world was concerned purely with results, after all.

With new vigor, he arose but chose a different outfit. Instead of his usual flak jacket and black outfit, he picked something with a bit more style. A yellow tunic with gray pants and a rope belt. Something he'd been meaning to wear for a while.

Then he walked out to greet the new day. "Another day, not a mark on the calendar. Let's do some experiments, shall we?"

* * *

Author's Note:

Interesting fact, my original plan for this fic was based in Bleach with Aizen going through the loop. But I never went through with it. I concluded that Aizen too flat and uninteresting a character to make the story fun.

If you want me to make new chapters faster, remember to leave a review. It'll help me stay motivated.


	5. Experimentation

**Chapter Five: Experimentation**

It took several days worth of loops to find what Orochimaru needed. He rapidly located the stores. Getting chemistry sets, he then had to find a dog. Eventually, he did find one, a particular small stray.

At last, when he'd quickly got it all together, he began his experiments. One door was open, and he was pouring chemistry. Soon enough, however, the door opened, and Anko peered through.

"Orochimaru-sensei, are you there?" asked Anko.

"Ah, Anko, would you hold this for me?" asked Orochimaru, handing her a vial of liquid.

Anko moved forward obediently and took it, examining the chemistry. "The others and I got worried when you didn't show up. Shouldn't we be heading to meet with the Feudal Lord."

"Don't be absurd," said Orochimaru. "There is no threat to him in the city; our presence would be a waste of time and effort.

"Hand me that scalpel, please."

"Right, um, why are you dissecting a dog?" asked Anko.

Orochimaru glanced up from the open carcass. "I'm experimenting with some new poisons if you must know. I want to get their effect on the flesh ready before I try using it on humans."

"Oh, um, right," said Anko. "Orochimaru-sensei, I really think that we ought to head to the Feudal Lord."

"Very well then, I have full confidence in your abilities," said Orochimaru, taking back the vial. "Go there directly; I have the messages here." He handed her a parchment.

Anko nodded. "Right, yes, sensei!"

Then she raced back.

"Now, let's see..." said Orochimaru, turning back to his efforts. "Now, that is an interesting reaction."

Taking notes, Orochimaru performed all the experiments he could. He worked well past twelve o'clock.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core, I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru woke up with a smile and made his way over to the far side of the wall where he put his notes. Then he hesitated and realized that his notes had never existed in this timeline.

Was there some kind of jutsu he could perform? Perhaps one to put into his chakra network? Yes, that would work.

Orochimaru immediately started practicing what he meant to do. He'd have to put it all together in twenty-four hours. But he might be able to combine several other jutsu.

"Orochimaru-sensei, are you there?" asked Anko, coming out.

"Yes, Anko, I am," said Orochimaru, practicing.

"What are um, what are you doing?" asked Anko.

"I'm trying to create a jutsu, which solidifies data within the mind," said Orochimaru.

"Why?" asked Anko.

"Obviously, so that I can remember the facts more easily," said Orochimaru.

"Um, wouldn't it be better to save that for tomorrow?" asked Anko nervously.

"I'm sure it would, but I've got a timetable," said Orochimaru. "I trust you, Iruka and Guy, to take care of things in my absence."

"Yes, Orochimaru-sensei!" said Anko, before racing out.

Orochimaru spent the next few days working on the project. Without notes, it was more difficult. Once or twice, he did himself a serious injury. Still, he believed he had eventually gotten it. After recording a simple message into his chakra network, he decided to test it.

Logically, therefore, the best way to do so would be to take a walk and distract himself until he forgot. If he could recall the message mentally, he'd have succeeded.

Orochimaru took a walk. He had no particular destination and walked with hands in his pockets. The cold was unpleasant and always, and he remembered why he hated snow so much.

"Orochimaru?" said Jiraiya. "Orochimaru, is that you? Fancy seeing you here?!"

Orochimaru halted and realized he was in a different place at a different time. Bad luck, he supposed. "How is it possible I ran into you here?"

"I know, right, I was thinking exactly the same thing," said Jiraiya. "Odd how paths cross, isn't it? So what are you up to?"

"I'm testing a jutsu that will allow me to memorize information," said Orochimaru. "My home is to imprint it onto my chakra system. By doing so, I will be able to simplify the process of taking notes."

"You know it's funny you should mention that," said Jiraiya. "I've been looking around trying to do some research for my novels, and a jutsu like that could come in real handy."

"Hotsprings?" mused Orochimaru.

"You know me too well," said Jiraiya with his usual roguish smile. "What do you say we get a drink together?"

"...That may be an excellent acid test for it, I suppose," concerned Orochimaru.

And so they began to drink. As they did, Jiraiya talked about plans for his next novel. Orochimaru listened and sighed.

"So, I gotta ask, Orochimaru, how is Tsunade doing?" asked Jiraiya.

"Truth be told, she spends almost no time in the village," admitted Orochimaru bitterly. "Most of her time since Dan died have been spent squandering her inheritance on gambling." Tsunade had just given up, and for what?

"Ah, right," said Jiraiya bitterly. "Well, I hear you've been in competition for Hokage with Minato. I hope it's a friendly one."

"Not really," admitted Orochimaru. "I find Minato's views on how a village should be run to be... naively optimistic. And I dislike him."

"What you mean, the Will of Fire? How is that naive?" asked Jiraiya.

"Please, Jiraiya, on the subject of the Will of Fire, I'm far from innocent," scoffed Orochimaru. "In fact, I am wholly apathetic to it. It's just a coverup, a nice-sounding speech that we put up for appearance's sake.

"No one who's seen what the Leaf gets up to in the dark actually believes it."

"Maybe you're right about our generation. But I have a feeling Minato is going to change it all for the better," said Jiraiya.

"How?" asked Orochimaru. "In case you haven't noticed, the older generation is still alive and well. To really follow the Will of Fire, you'd have to outlaw the Caged Bird Seal. And give the Uchiha unrestricted rights, while also stripping away their special privileges. In fact, you'd have to strip away all the clan's special privileges.

"How long do you think a Hokage who tried to do all that would last?"

"...Well, he wouldn't take office at all," mused Jiraiya.

"Precisely," said Orochimaru. "Minato's not going to change anything. He'll just put up a nice pretense while the Village remains exactly the same. Everyone is talking about how he has no bloodlines, but he's married to an Uzumaki Senju.

"Any children he has will probably marry into one of the other clans. And keep the Uzumaki name for good measure.

"The more things change, the more things stay the same."

"Well, what are you running on?" asked Jiraiya, sounding a bit annoyed.

"Honesty," said Orochimaru. "When I become Hokage, there will be no masquerade. Every atrocity I do will be done openly, and I will explain why I am doing it to the public. All this nonsense about friendship and hard work will be replaced with an ideology we can attain."

"Hang on, what makes you think ideology is something we're supposed to attain?" asked Jiraiya. "It's something to strive for, even if it's impossible."

"One should never set an objective if it is not attainable," said Orochimaru flatly.

"Maybe not," admitted Jiraiya, now looking to change the subject. "Anyway, can you remember whatever it is you were working toward?"

"One moment," said Orochimaru. He checked it, and the message he'd forgotten played before his mind. "Yes, yes, the experiment was a success! Now at long last, I can complete my experiments-"

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru shut off the alarm clock and got to work. Getting together his experimental data, he began working while taking notes. Once he finished, he'd imprint his notes onto his chakra.

And then the door opened.

"Orochimaru-sensei, are you there?" asked Anko.

"Ah, Anko, please come in, I've been busy," said Orochimaru.

"Um, what is that?" asked Anko, coming forward.

"Oh, this used to be a dog," said Orochimaru, motioning to a puddle of flesh and fur. "If it's any consolation, it died within the first few hours."

"Orochimaru-sensei! You're not supposed to experiment on live creatures!" said Anko.

"Silence, Anko, I am a scientist and cannot be bound by such petty things as morality," said Orochimaru. "Now, I must record my notes so that they are not lost."

And he tried to imprint the data, yet as he did, he realized his original message was gone. Hesitated and faltered.

"Um, Orochimaru-sensei," said Anko.

"It's gone," said Orochimaru. "But... but that's impossible. I had it recorded in my chakra network. I AM my chakra network. How it possible that my memories persist, but my chakra network reverts to normal."

"Um-" began Anko.

"Head to the palace, I must fix this problem at once," said Orochimaru.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru awoke, checked his chakra network, and saw the obvious. "So it didn't work this time. No matter, I am not one defeated so easily. I shall simply try-"

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

No such luck.

"-again," said Orochimaru. "Obviously, I must ensure the information is encoded into my chakra network somehow."

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru awoke after many, many loops. "...Again?

"Very well, obviously I will have to put a more in-depth amount of research into this. I need only figure out the mechanism by which I retain my memories and..." The obvious appeared. "EXCEPT I CAN'T TAKE NOTES!"

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru awoke and realized he wasn't going to be able to use this loop for his experiments. Now what?

Orochimaru decided to just stay in bed.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My body's shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._


	6. Despair

**Chapter Six: Despair**

Orochimaru woke up to the same heavy rock music.

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

Orochimaru reached forward and gripped the alarm clock with a feeling of exhaustion. Taking it up, he threw it down and smashed it to pieces. Sitting up, he made his way to the window and looked out over the Land of Snow. There was Anko, Iruka, and Guy running out to pursue their duties as usual.

For so long, he'd tried to find a way to pursue his research, and he'd failed. He'd tried practicing jutsu, but his chakra reset each time.

Dressing, Orochimaru made his way out of the room. Running into that same man, he stopped. "Good morning."

"...Hello," said Orochimaru.

"Do you think the new Lord will really return summer to the land?" asked the man.

"No," said Orochimaru, and he moved on past him.

Orochimaru wandered the streets with no idea where he was going. Vaguely, he was aware that he was walking the same road he'd done the first time. This annoyed him. It was as if, unable to pursue his own dreams, he could do nothing but tread in old footsteps.

And then Jiraiya saw him. "Orochimaru? Orochimaru, is that you? Fancy seeing you here?!"

Orochimaru looked up and smiled as Jiraiya approached. "Jiraiya!"

Then he dealt Jiraiya a right hook that sent him spinning around before collapsing in a heap on the ground. Orochimaru felt a bit better after that and walked over Jiraiya's prone form with a spring in his step. "Hmm, that was oddly satisfying."

When Orochimaru reached the city squad, he found Anko, Iruka, and Guy as usual. Anko was munching on the same donut. She ran to meet him like she always did when he approached this area at that time. "Orochimaru-sensei, where have you been? You're missing all the fun here."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure I am," said Orochimaru. "Still, we ought to meet the Feudal Lord and prepare to make our speech. You've searched the crowd, haven't you Iruka?"

"Yes, of course," said Iruka. "Guy is on look out. I've got a list of all potential areas of attack in the area where the speech will be made."

"Excellent," said Orochimaru on habit. What do now?

There was nothing to do.

Nothing at all.

They went on to the palace, tall and drab. It was very practical and defensible. The adornments were mostly on the outside, where people could see. Within were practical, clinical, and cold halls.

And at last, they came to Lord Sosetsu Kazahana. Kneeling before him, Orochimaru remembered the last time he'd been here. And the time before that and the time before that.

"Lord Orochimaru, the strongest of the Legendary Sannin," said Lord Kazahana. "You honor my humble Kingdom by your presence."

"Thank you," said Orochimaru. It was not the appropriate response, but he did not particularly care. He supposed he ought to introduce the others, but looked to them and sighed. "These are my students, Anko, Iruka, and Guy."

"Nice to meet you-Ow!" began Anko, before Iruka stepped on her foot.

"Stop it, Anko," said Iruka. "We're in front of royalty."

Kazahana laughed. "It's quite alright. I'm not one to stand on royal ceremony when there is business to be done."

Orochimaru said nothing.

"In any case, your very presence here should be more than sufficient to deter any threats," said Kazahana. "These sorts of formalities are a pain, but they're necessary. The festival will make the people believe in the future of the Land of Snow. Your very presence here will make them feel secure of the friendship between our lands."

Orochimaru said nothing and waited. There was nothing to say.

Kazahana stepped back a pace. "...In any case, I would like it if you made a speech to the assembled masses. In order to prove the sincerity with which the Leaf maintains this alliance, of course."

"You want Orochimaru-sensei to be sincere?" asked Anko, sounding worried.

Orochimaru said nothing.

"Well it's just, um, Orochimaru-sensei isn't very good at that kind of thing." said Anko.

"Awful," said Iruka.

"Indeed!" said Guy. "Orochimaru-sensei is a master of sarcasm and deception. However, his youthful spirit was crippled in-"

"Yes, you've made your point," snapped Orochimaru. "And I am perfectly capable of appearing sincere when I want to. Moreover, it is the Leaf's sincerity that I am to be projecting. Not my own."

"So you will do it then?" asked Kazahana.

"...Of course," said Orochimaru.

"Excellent." said Kazahana. "I have plans to break this curse of winter and restore the Land of Snow to how it once was. No doubt you were briefed on that?"

Orochimaru remembered answering before and realized he had to respond here. He could murder everyone again, but that had lost its appeal. "Yes."

"Good," said Kazahana. "I will need you to touch on that and give the people confidence."

"But of course," said Orochimaru.

Then the Princess rushed into the room, as usual. Orochimaru realized he hadn't killed her at any point. Someone must have helped her escape in loops where he went berserk.

Probably not worth the effort. Kazahana seemed to know her and bodies were troublesome to dispose of.

"Father!" said Koyuki, stomping forward.

"Koyuki, I told you not to come out here," said Kazahana. "You know how important this is."

"But the guards won't let me leave the palace!" said Koyuki. "I want to join in the festivities!"

Wonderful, there was the runaway Princess again. How many times had Orochimaru watched this brat be put in his place? And how many times had it changed nothing? Day by day, the same miserable, worthless problems played out before him. Day by day, nothing he did changed anything.

"Koyuki, the festival could be dangerous for you," said Kazahana. "I've already discussed this with you, and my answer will not change.

"Now, leave us." His voice was stern.

She pouted and stormed off. Kazahana turned to Orochimaru. "I apologize for that. My daughter can be... unruly.

"I must be honest with you. I didn't request the presence of one of the Legendary Sannin for a show of support.

"There is a risk that I may be targetted."

"Your brother?" guessed Orochimaru, voice dead.

"Yes," said Kazahana. "Are you alright?"

"...Yes," said Orochimaru. "Never better."

"In any case," said Kazahana. "I do not want to believe that Doto would move against me, and I do not believe it. However, he is staunchly against many of my policies. If he were to move against me, it would be now, before my ascension is official." And what made him think he'd made it past the day after Orochimaru left?

Orochimaru had the feeling the information was relevant, but he didn't care.

"You do not need to worry!" said Guy. "We are splendid ninja of youth, and not one hair on your heads shall be harmed." The usual sort of Guy wording. He was often very quiet for a while, and then he'd interject at the least opportune moment.

"I'm glad to hear it," said Kazahana. "Now, perhaps we should prepare for the speeches."

And that was how Orochimaru stood before the assembled crowds of the Land of Snow, again. Though this still had some novelty, since he usually avoided this. It was miserably cold on the balcony still, but Orochimaru hardly felt it or the wind.

He watched as the speeches were made, as one declaration after another of a thousand-year reign.

And then it came to him. And for once in his life, Orochimaru decided to be honest about what he thought of people. "This is pitiful! Thousands of people risking hypothermia to put a crown on the head of one more parasite!

"The people of the Land of Snow used to believe in things back when I used to be here! They hauled out their last Feudal Lord and put his head on a pike! Then his son paid me to massacre so many people that they put the crown on his head out of fear!"

Dead silence followed. Kazahana and his daughter were staring with open mouths. Iruka looked about to have a panic attack, while Guy and Anko were eyeing a guard. "Do you have a problem with what I'm saying, Kazahana? Spend a few decades in nonstop war and then massacre all the dissidents in your country, and we can talk as equals.

"If you want a dream of spring, you're better off asking a scientist about it. I'll tell you what spring is going to look like in this place. It's going to be wet, it's going to be miserable, and it's going to freeze you down to your bones!"

The crowd began moaning in despair. Several children began to cry openly. The guards looked at eachother, then at Orochimaru, and realized the army could do nothing.

"Real good, sensei," said Iruka. "Real good."

Orochimaru stood up in disgust. "Well, the crown is on his head.

"Let's go; we're leaving." And he surged off.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

Orochimaru stayed in bed.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

Orochimaru turned, smile fading. "What infuriating music."

He hit the off button again.

Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!

We can have a hero's comeback!

So come on over and we'll start the countdown!

Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!

Again.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

And again.

* * *

_Faraway, somewhere they are calling right to me._

_Battle's underway and now we'll gather like a storm see._

_I'm coming back, I won't be leaving this early._

_So say if you're ready to go, are you ready?_

_My bodies shaking, at my core I feel nothing._

_A new power ringing out like it's stompin._

_I can't escape so let it just call me._

_You'll never stop my cuz it's my new story._

_Come on, everybody stand up!_

_I know it's hard but today's our best shot._

_Cause now we're building up speed we can't stop._

_Ain't nobody slow me down, just watch me._

_Yeah, come one! Everybody hands up!_

_We can have a hero's comeback!_

_So come on over and we'll start the countdown!_

_Let's go now, 3, 2, 1 make some noise!_

* * *

Orochimaru came up with a possible way to escape the loop.

Standing up, he made his way down to the room where bed and breakfast were underway. The mistress of the inn moved forward. "Oh, Orochimaru, good morning, would you like some... toast..."

Orochimaru grabbed the toaster, unplugged, and made his way up to the second floor. Filling the tub with water, he plugged the toaster and dropped it in. Electricity surged through him and mildly singed him, while the lights flickered. His super regeneration rapidly fixed it.

With a sigh, Orochimaru stood up and drew his snake sword out of his mouth. Turning it around, he planted it on his chest and fell forward. The blade cleaved deep directly into his heart and-

Oh right, Orochimaru had set things up, so he had a second one.

Dragging the blade out of his chest and pouring blood all over the carpet. Standing up, he tried falling on his sword again. The pain shot through him, but this time he missed his heart. A third time actually got through. But by that time, his original heart had regenerated.

Suicide was surprisingly difficult when you were Orochimaru.

Turning and glancing out the window, he observed the tallest building in the entire city. That would be the palace. Opening the window, he ran through, racing across the rooftops and made his way to the very top of the palace. Leaping high into the air as high as he possibly could, he turned around in midair. Then he descended headfirst in a dive. Just before he hit the ground, he pushed all his chakra to his feet.

Orochimaru hit the concrete dead on and died instantly.


End file.
